Where is the hickey?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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