bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
