With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
