I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
