I want to stick my p in your. b.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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