The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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