Got a toothbrush?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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