Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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