Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize