So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
