dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
