I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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