probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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