So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
