that's an acceptable place to lick
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
