I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
