is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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