I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
