I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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