Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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