She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
