i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I currently don't understand fingers.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize