It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
