I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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