i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
