spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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