she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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