Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
