I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Little spoons don't ask big questions
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
