I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
