i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
