Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize