she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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