guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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