nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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