Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
