Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
