i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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