My nipple is on Facebook.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
vagina is talking i cant
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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