girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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