Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
