how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Randomize
