I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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