I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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