Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
