I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
