a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
