I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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