6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Randomize
