too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize