oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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