Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize