Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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