just come out here and I will go home with you...
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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