Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
