you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
