I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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